I am ALWAYS the bad guy around here. Any time Zoey has a little fit of temper because I tell her she can’t have something or she has to go to bed – there’s Grandma and Great Grandma to save the day. There’s Nana to rock her to sleep – so she never learns to fall asleep by herself. There’s Mimi to make me feel guilty when I try to enforce the rules. I feel like all my efforts are undermined and I am powerless.

I really do appreciate all help I get from them. I live in my mother’s house – thanks to her generosity and good will. My grandmother helps me keep Zoey happy and entertained all day – lets me sleep in occasionally, and baby sits without a qualm at the drop of a hat. I love them, I do. And I’m thankful. Endlessly thankful.

But frustrated as well. Because some of the lessons I need to teach her – good behaviors I need to instill now before the terrible twos – are impossible to keep consistent because they are so indulgent with her. They spoil her terribly! And they are her grandmas – they are supposed to spoil her. But not all the time. Not every day.

I’m sure I’m exaggerating because it has just happened AGAIN. But it does happen. And now that she’s starting to show signs of temper tantrums – I just see so much heartache and trouble ahead.

I want to spoil her too – but I also want her to grow up with some self control and common sense. I can’t save her from every little thing that is going to upset her. I can’t be rocking her to sleep every night until she’s in elementary school.

I’m just frustrated by my lack of control around here. I NEED MY OWN PLACE!! I am  counting the days until Wayne gets back so we can figure out how we’re going to pay for it.

I still know deep inside that everything is going to work itself out. I need a vacation. Let’s get out of here for a while.